Blank Doll eats his foot.

There is a painting by M. George de la Tour called Le Tricheur which is quite brilliant. Quite simply, it is a portraiture that captures a game of cards between two aristocrats and a bourgeois. The middle class gambler quite explicity cheats at the game while the noblewoman has her maid as a spy and one can only surmise that the nobleman is also an adept cheat from his pile of piece d'or. It is a beautiful satire of society in pre-Revolutionary France and one really has to study it to take in all its meaning.

I have survived. His name a grave whisper in my head, echoing and resonating, resonating and echoing- an immense jabbering from which there can be no respite, nor solace, nor escape. I have survived.

C'est tout.

Blank Doll.

I love Singapore's Annual Budget Speeches. They remind me that our nation's past has not been lost to the romanticism of history. The anguish and toil of our forefathers have not been hidden by the veil of time and we are a nation ascendant.

The first thing I ate out of camp yesterday was an almond roll from swissbake then Mummy was very nice and made me a bowl of abalone noodles at home. Managed to surprise Mummy. Off to French now.

C'est tout.

Blank Doll wonders aloud.

Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

All the King's Horses

And all the King's Men

Couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back again

How succinctly captured in this nursery rhyme, the folly of political vacillation. For some strange reason, I always thought Humpty Dumpty was the king which upon scrutiny now, does not seem likely. Presently, when I read it aloud again, there appears to be an underlying tone of lazy menace that unsettles.

Afternoon tea at the Shangri-La today. The teas were rather good though not particularly fine. Bread was pallid and uninspired while some of the cakes seemed newly come from an assembly line. I did like the champagne and strawberry-infused pate, the cured duck, the roast beef with horseradish and the cheeseboard which included a chewy cow milk's cheese with peppery undertones and this really good goat's cheese with sharp notes of garlic. The salads were rather good too- I really enjoyed the sauteed mushrooms and sun-dried tomatoes. Scones were adequate and were redeemed by the delightful clotted cream.

Facial thereafter where the dermatologist conducted rescue care on my face. Oddly therapeutic though intensely painful.

M&S to buy their bargain chocolate digestives, a large pack of butter sultana cookies and a little treat for myself.

Oh and I bought clothes for Chinese New Year! Unfortunately, the Army has messed up my life as usual and my tailor was unable to meet the deadline by Chinese New Year so I couldn't get my clothes tailored like I intended. Black drawstring slacks, an olive round-collared button-up and a grey ribbed crew neck- all from Muji. A double-ply Egyptian cotton barrel cuff broad pinstripe (embroidered) with mother-of-pearl buttons from Raoul on the way though Mummy will probably have to collect it for me. No shoes this year, especially since I am intent on keeping a promise to myself that I wouldn't buy shoes with my parents' money. Guess the pair of Aldo white leather loafers will have to wait till next month. Oh oh, and I forgot, I need a pair of white cords. Does anyone know where I might get a pair? I know Prada has them but I disapprove of designer jeans. Hell, I disapprove of jeans but I'll make an exception of white cords.

T'es rien a cote de mon but.

C'est tout.

Blank Doll wakes up.

Mummy's going crazy trying to study for her coming test but it's all ok because all the madness at home cannot amount to the madness in the army.

Finally caught up with XJ, Candice, Val and Sarah yesterday. Dinner at Menotti where I had crab cakes and cheese fritata along with chocolate and amaretto gelato for dessert. Sarah's friend Gab came along and she's great. Haha, Sarah's got her jaw moved! Oh mon dieu, quel changement! Candice got her molars removed, ew. Val's working at Pines and it suits her because she's at least pre-occupied. XJ is just being XJ, fulfilling the life of a workaholic at Morgan Stanley. Implicit espionage can be really enriching.

It's funny how we can catch up like school's only yesterday, talking about the same things. Stalkers, dirt beneath the boot, more dirt beneath the boot, famous scumbag investors, clothes, people and more. The common consensus being, of course, that we all miss school. RJ has been such a fun experience after all.

Anyway, drinks later at Fbar which was gross because the drinks were diluted but it was ok because I had to catch up with what's happening in fashion. All I can say is, Missoni is whacked and DVF needs a youth-boost.

Indochine later on for another round of drinks. I kept to the two glasses I promises Mummy who thinks I have an alcohol problem which I don't. Talked more, took a lot of shots. Les mots de la nuit: Sarah is an open and accepting girl.

Went home afterwards, enjoyed the silence of being the only one awake. I'm going to really savour the nights alone when I'm in Paris, coming back from work/clubbing/entertaining and being greeted by the dusky embrace of solitude.

Let this be over soon.

C'est tout.