Blank Doll shuts down and goes to sleep.

Oubliez-ca, je lui renounce. C'est trop beaucoup pour moi et justement, je ne peux pas en faire. Pas du tout.

Something flashed through my mind while I was reading a certain piece from a certain book. I make a balancing act out of every relationship I have with another fellow being that might actually care for me.

Drama A for the day. Enough.

That said, my eyes are now bulging because of the immense pain caused by horrible sleeping patterns and a masochistic need to inflict emotional as well as physical pain on myself. Yes, let it be known that Sean is a genuine masochist, as if tout le monde doesn't already know. I resent being overpowered as much as I relish it and let's not even get onto the issue of pain.

On to the next issue at hand, an inexplicable numbness that has come over me. This is perchance a shadow of this dreadful cold that has impugned upon my hospitality but heck, who cares if little Sean gets sick?

The truth is, I miss you. I dream of you all the time even if you no longer see, feel or hear me. I miss you so much I cannot frankly see why you had to go.

So the petit rien speaks again. Allow me the occasional display of morose, of melancholia and melodrome. I am after all, a youth afflicted by the malady of youth. It does not become a youth to immerse in the Dark Other of joie but then again, a youth would be almost intolerable if perpetual happiness and effervescence were the only things a youth was capable of.

No, I don't wish to die. Never did, never will. Don't bind me. Not here, not now. My soul will live forever within the carapace of GOD. No soul is so beautiful as the soul of the Manifested GOD.

Christmas descends upon us. I would cheer except my skin is a pale sheen of gray.

C'est tout.