yay time

I don't have anymore time left. It'll all be over so soon, four more years and then, it's over. I can't wait yet at the same time I don't want it to happen so soon. No, I hate the thought of having to leave my childhood and the place of my birth. I'm sorry I had to grow up. I'm sorry I have to leave you here. We'll meet again one day, I promise. But until then, I'll always think of you. Just don't abandon me right now all right?

Don't know where THAT came from. Oh, just paid for my french fees and it probably struck me how much closer I was to my goal. For now, I just want to enjoy the company of my friends and loved ones. My ma, my lil sis, my father, my dad, my gramps, my aunt, my uncle, my room at home, my friends in school. Daniel, Alps, Jing Heng, Tong, Xiao Jun, some of the others in class, my cca mates though they probably hate me, my books, my studies, the Slug, CC, Jeff, Xuan, Joshua, Tzhock, Hew Ting. I love the walks around City Hall, I love pigging out with friends, I love having dinner with my ma and sis, I love the joy of finding a cherished book, I don't want to grow up. I don't want to. And I keep wondering if whether it's too late? I want to stay here forever, in the present. I don't wish to become the past. I don't wish my grandchildren to think of their grandfather as a distant memory. It hurts. I want to live, I want to run away. I want to fight on. I want my dreams. I love GOD.

Sorry for being so incoherent. Oh and did I mention M. le roi? Yeah, him too. My most beloved brother though he may not be that of my blood, we are definitely brothers in spirit.

I am tired. The laptop burns through my jeans. Yes, jeans. Ugh. Black cotton top with long sleeves too, the sort of village shirts my dad gets from thailand. French grammar, english grammar. The weather proves too hot. I shall get a fever soon. I love the City of my writing. I love the Duchess and the Blue Merra. I love the Angel. I love the dark Lucifer. It's over. It begins again. You won't find any angst in me. I love and I am gone. Body to Spirit to Flesh to Dreams. Dreams. Au revoir.

C'est tout.