fucking depressed..haha, yeah, like, so gone
Today totally sucked. My results don't do justice I tell you. Ok, so I did sort of slacken the pace for the promos and also studied too early and also got too complacent but fuck, it doesn't warrant such a drastic decline.
Yes, I wanted two S papers. History and Economics. But right now, I wouldn't dare to. Imagine the cheek of the person to ask for two S papers when you can't even get straight As. Yeah, why bother with two Ss if you don't have straight As? I'll tell you why, because it interests me. But really, schoolwork is draining me of my energy. I wish I could learn in a more stress-less place. I love learning and writing essays and all, but this is not what I mean.
You know, I think I'm far too cyclical. This means I'll do splendidly for my CTs next year, flunk my prelims and ace my As! Haha, yes. The thing is, in RJ, everybody ace their As so who cares? Oh well, I should always look at things from a different angle- Parson's does not require A levels, only a good portfolio. Then again, one should do well at everything that one tries.
Oh and I really wanted to do my sets today to work off my depression but strangely, I hurt some part of my shoulder/collarbone area. Fragile, fugly, fdepressed, just ftired. Fucking brilliant.
One another note, my sister is such a dear! She's the only one who's consoled me. Ok, sometimes I wonder how much grief my results warrant but my sister never questions my depression. She doesn't go ,'but ya already did so well still complain so much!' which is why I love her. She understands the nature of my failure when I said I've failed. The same goes to her too so I suppose we fit nicely.
I therefore consider this exam NULL and VOID, hence in NO WAY reflecting the usual standard of my work and so will have no bearing on my emotions at this moment. Avaunt. Go away. Fuck off.
Yes, I'm going insane and not just that. I need my sketchbook. I need to start sewing. Maybe I should just quit school now and fly to Paris. Yes, I should. I thought of a beautiful wedding gown, three tiers and a train that I think is quite ingenuous but nevermind.
Don't bother saving me. Leave me for the dear old man below. He needs company anyway.
C'est tout.
Yes, I wanted two S papers. History and Economics. But right now, I wouldn't dare to. Imagine the cheek of the person to ask for two S papers when you can't even get straight As. Yeah, why bother with two Ss if you don't have straight As? I'll tell you why, because it interests me. But really, schoolwork is draining me of my energy. I wish I could learn in a more stress-less place. I love learning and writing essays and all, but this is not what I mean.
You know, I think I'm far too cyclical. This means I'll do splendidly for my CTs next year, flunk my prelims and ace my As! Haha, yes. The thing is, in RJ, everybody ace their As so who cares? Oh well, I should always look at things from a different angle- Parson's does not require A levels, only a good portfolio. Then again, one should do well at everything that one tries.
Oh and I really wanted to do my sets today to work off my depression but strangely, I hurt some part of my shoulder/collarbone area. Fragile, fugly, fdepressed, just ftired. Fucking brilliant.
One another note, my sister is such a dear! She's the only one who's consoled me. Ok, sometimes I wonder how much grief my results warrant but my sister never questions my depression. She doesn't go ,'but ya already did so well still complain so much!' which is why I love her. She understands the nature of my failure when I said I've failed. The same goes to her too so I suppose we fit nicely.
I therefore consider this exam NULL and VOID, hence in NO WAY reflecting the usual standard of my work and so will have no bearing on my emotions at this moment. Avaunt. Go away. Fuck off.
Yes, I'm going insane and not just that. I need my sketchbook. I need to start sewing. Maybe I should just quit school now and fly to Paris. Yes, I should. I thought of a beautiful wedding gown, three tiers and a train that I think is quite ingenuous but nevermind.
Don't bother saving me. Leave me for the dear old man below. He needs company anyway.
C'est tout.
posted by Blank Doll at
6:04 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home